All I have is a Dream.. » General

Older, but not Wiser

Another Dreamer — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 01:02:11 +0000

Another year gone by. And what a year it was. From Heartbreaks to life changes, it had everything in it. I live such a soap-opera life.
Here’s a recap:
- I moved to a new continent.
- I’m back in school.
- Boy broke my heart. yet again. And in million pieces. You would think by now I will be wiser to it.
- Personal crisis in family. We are still coming to terms with it.
- Knee problem is finally diagnosed. And while I go through the pain each week, It does mean less ankle/leg mishaps in long run.
- I now have an enviable collection of OPI nail paints. (One girlie point has to be there)
- I also belong to apple slave category now. Phone, Laptop, iPod – yup they got me. One shiny gadget at a time.

And to top it all, few hours before my birthday I met Neil Gaiman. He not only signed my books and let me have a pic with him, he also liked my T-shirt and wrote Happy Birthday on one book. How awesome is that?

I’m still in fangirl heaven and it’s been 2 days )

There were disappointments, of course. But I think at the start of new year, I’ll just ignore them or forget them if I can.

Here’s to me. Hopefully, one day I’ll be wiser.

Festival Blues

Another Dreamer — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 10:22:02 +0000

I love festivals. Not because of any religious inclinations or significance, But because of the cheeriness they bring along. Most festivals in India demand family presence. So if you stay away from home, it is a good excuse to spend time with the family. Of course, shopping for the new clothes, gifts, decorated homes and markets – all of these things just add to the fun. In last 30 years, I’ve spent only 1 Diwali away from home and what a depressing time that was. Now it is time to do it again.
To everyone unfamiliar with Diwali, I explain it as North-Indian Christmas. Family Dinners, Lights everywhere, gifts exchanging. It’s almost the same Why North-Indian, not just Indian? Well, because most south-Indians I know do not celebrate it. They think it is all about crackers and fireworks. No, it’s not. It’s been more than 10 years since anyone in my family has burst crackers. But that doesn’t mean we don’t celebrate it. Or that we are doing something wrong. Crackers are add-ons. Use them or not – your wish. Same goes for Card-playing. In lot of families, it is a custom. Not in mine.
But I digress. So to make sure I do not fall into Festival-without-family depression, I decided to invite friends over for dinner. Yup, Yours truly is cooking for 10+ people. Of course, That itself is a major stress inducer.
However, Never mind that family is far-off. Never mind that no new clothes for festivities. Never mind that this year there will not be any gift. Never mind that food won’t be as awesome as home. Never mind that there won’t be any sweets. I’ll celebrate it in my own style. I’ll create a new Diwali custom while retaining the essence of it.
So Happy Diwali everyone.

Learn n learn

Another Dreamer — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 02:30:55 +0000

4 months since I left home.
3 months since I started working here.
2 months since I started uni.
2 weeks since we moved into new apartment
1 day since I got a bed and more furniture..
Interesting numbers, they all are.

In between, I learned that
Some people are nice no matter what.
Some will break your heart every chance they get.
You and your best friend don’t have to agree with everything.
As long as you work hard, you’ll be alright.
Challenges are good for the soul.
Heart-breaks make you stronger.
And
Skype is the best thing ever to stay in touch with your family.

Hello from Melbourne

Another Dreamer — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 14:03:44 +0000

So it’s been 2 weeks since I arrived in Melbourne. Apart from complaining about weather, It’s been good so far. I miss my folks, friends and boy. Skype, however, has been a life saver.
I never thought being unemployed would be tough, but it is. After years of being independent in money matters, it’s tough not to spend
I’ve started looking for a job. Hopefully I should be able to find something soon.

Apart from that, I really don’t have any updates.. Boring person I’ve become now :/

Update Time

Another Dreamer — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 15:36:09 +0000

It’s been a really long and stressful fortnight… Sometimes too many things fall into places..
I’ve finally decided to move on. It’s a scary thought and family reasons demand I stay at home. But my parents are sweetest. They supported my decision and are more happy for me than myself. so yayy..
Work’s been exciting. I was offered new opportunities, something right up my alley. Sadly I had to turn it down. My bosses have been extremely supportive. So fun time.
Personal front hasn’t been so good. Me and A got back together after 3 years. And guess what, same story. So after a week, I’m crying about same thing. But considering I’m bit smarter now, it’s already a part of history. Of course, I was hurt and much whining was done on weekend.. Sometimes you just hope things would work out and sometimes they don’t. Life!
Apart from that, It’s Dharamsala this weekend and 2 weeks later, I’m off to Hyderabad for a wedding. Not to mention, all farewells, catching up and get-togethers in between with little bit of shopping. And of course, I get to choose my gifts. So hectic hectic..

I can say No

Another Dreamer — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 17:24:48 +0000

Some times people close to you do things that disappoint you. Sometimes you do such things.
But there’s always an expectation that you would stand by each other’s side. Of course, you would. You love them. They love you. Little things don’t matter.
But sometimes you might not want to stand by them. Maybe you don’t agree with the decision or choice. Then what do you do? How do you make the other person understand your decision?
It’s disappointing when your loved ones refuse to understand your reasons. Once in a while I do wanna say no. Once in a while One might not want to follow in your line.
Understand their reasons. Just don’t walk away.

Repeat After Me..

Another Dreamer — Wed, 19 Jan 2011 08:54:17 +0000

.. I’ll not buy anymore books til I finish the ones I have.
.. I’ll not get tempted by sales and buy more shoes
.. I’ll not, I repeat, Not waste time in watching TV or surfing net.
.. I’ll start exercising, not mental, Physical.
.. I’ll not lose temper.

If I don’t abide by these rules, You have my permission to berate me, yell at me, drag me out of shops.

New Directions or..?

Another Dreamer — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 13:58:06 +0000

Whenever I complain about being restless/bored, my friends respond with a simple statement – “Do something else then”.
But what else? U suggested making a list of things that I like and the ones that immediately pop in my head. Needless to say, when I started making this list, nothing popped in my head.
I tried taking tests to tell me where do my interests lie. They pointed to my current job. So turns out anything that is related to mathematical or logical field is good for me. Obviously this approach didn’t work either.
So what else?
While all this soul searching was going on, last month handed me a surprise. Chance to move to a new place and pursue something new.
Now, the worry is what if it didn’t work? What if after 7 yrs, itch is back? Too many what ifs, not a single answer in sight.
Changing your life is tough. Choosing the unknown is tougher.
So what to do now? Be sensible and continue as things are. Be a daredevil and just jump?
Decisions. Decisions.

Silent Warriors..

Another Dreamer — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 08:09:09 +0000

The day my mom was admitted in hospital, she cooked my favorite dish in morning. Just because night before I was complaining about dinner. First thing she asked after coming out of operating theater was about my dad, if he’s doing ok. Such are Moms. Even when they are not well, they are thinking about their family.
I see so many women around me who quietly go on, making sure everything runs smoothly at home, everything is covered at work. Hardly anyone stops and notices them. Of course, culture in West is different. Husbands are supposed to help out. But, not in India. It’s a woman’s job to take care of children. Yes, things are changing. But not as fast as we would like them to be.
But of course, there are exceptions. Some women do make sure you acknowledge their effort even though it’s bare minimum. From what I’ve seen, the ones complaining about so much to do are the ones hardly doing anything. Don’t get me wrong, maybe I’m generalizing too much. But that’s the feeling I get from knowing all these women. Then there are real ‘silent warriors’ who make sacrifices without a word.
My closest friend chose to quit and stay at home, so she can take care of her daughter. Lot of people didn’t like it. Giving up, they said. What about so many other mothers, they asked. Few months down the line, you can see the difference. She’s happier. Her daughter is happier and Healthier, More confident. She doesn’t have to apologize for wanting to be a good mother. It’s all about priorities, you see.
A colleague skips lazying around in the morning to reach work well before others, so she can leave early and spend quality time with her daughter. Everyday she does it. And I’ve never heard her complain. Again, priorities. She actually makes sure she gets to spend time with her daughter than complain about lack of time.
Another friend relies on her nanny and is unapologetic. After all, it takes a strong person to admit you can’t do everything. In her words, “I know I can’t do it alone. And if I can afford it, why not take help?” You’ll never hear her whine at work about how her time is all about her son and is so difficult to manage the two (work and family).

These are 3 completely different personalities, and managing in way they think is best.

But then there are females who claim their child is most important to them and yet, they don’t hesitate to ignore that child to get brownie points at work. Then, there are ones who complain about cooking at home and then bark orders at maid about cutting vegetables, kneading dough etc etc (As another friend said, if someone else will do all preparatory work, I’m ready to cook daily). Issue I have with such people is ‘Nobody asked you to do this. Want to spend time with child. Leave early. Quit. Do whatever gets things done. Don’t want to cook. Get a maid. Don’t tell us how hard your life is. We have our own set of problems.’

Ok, I digress. The whole point was ‘Don’t toot your own horn, Just go ahead and do what you want to’ (without blaming world for it)
Your child knows and when he/she’s 30, they’ll thank the stars for such a wonderful mom (before that they might be rebelling)

Life’s not easy

Another Dreamer — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 09:24:10 +0000

It’s tough. It’s tough being an Indian 30-yr Old Single Girl. Everyone’s wondering why are you single. They try to fix you up with random people. They gently prod you to spill beans. My fav – Everyone assumes you are seeing someone, but just not getting married. It’s funny and It’s exhausting. You spend better half of your day fielding questions about it.
It’s irritating. But, as you are in India, your business is everyone’s business. Not even your friends spare you. Your parents are forever disappointed in you.
I wonder if fulfilling your parent’s dreams and society’s expectation is the only reason you are born. No one’s really concerned about your happiness. Oh yes, they pretend. But they don’t. No one really knows you or care about what you want. There’s a check-list and you are supposed to do things accordingly. If there’s missing check mark, it’s trouble.
So what you like being Single? So what if you are happy being alone? So what you really don’t like people so much?
You were born, so you better fulfill your role.

(Maybe I should just marry some gay guy and get off the market?? Anyone there who needs a reallllly nice Indian wife for pretense?)

Note: Do I sound frustrated? Well, I’m. So back off.