All I have is a Dream..

To jump or not.
To give in or not.
To be sensible or reckless.

Choice is tough. While one is tempting, other will break your heart eventually. So which one do you choose?

I was.. Still am..

Past few weeks have been a blur.
Been busy with work. Usual routine of complains and boredom.
Few more weddings. Hectic but fun.
Been sick. Better now.
Older by another year. yeah, bit depressed about that.
Holidays started. And I’ve no plans this time. Weird, huh?

There’s a disconnect with people I hang out with. There’s a closeness with family. There’s disdain for few people at work.

I feel like going for a road trip. Unfortunately funds and company are depriving me of that.
I feel like I’m ready to settle down and start my family. Unfortunately I’m yet to find the one I want to do so with.

I miss my best friend. H, you are the best person I know. Only one who would listen to my crazy rants for whole day, yet smile and never look bored.

Here’s a wishing next year would be better.

Shutdown time at work. And I had such huge plans. Thanks to viral visitation, I’ve been stuck in bed for last 3 days. Finally leaving today for manali. Lets see if I get to see Leh or not.
Keepings fingers crossed.
If things go as planned, I shall see you all after oct 4. Otherwise would be here sooner and complaining.

..when you want to send some message to a person and your keypad refuses to agree with you. Esp when you want to give the other person a piece of your mind..
Aargh… I shall wait and remember the stuff I wanted to say and say it rudely and then argue over it..

..are just overwhelming..
When all you wanna do is run away.. or hide in some corner.. what do you do? How do you keep on smiling and go on?

So here comes the tag again:

1 One
is happy me..

2 Two
can be a crowd or company.. upto u..

3 Three Things I can do unconditionally
Read, Eat and Dance

4 Four Things I am pleased to have
My Camera, My Parents, My friends and Brains

5 Five Things high on my wish list
Trip across World, House by the beach, Credit Card with unlimited limit and someone else paying its bill, A school to run and my restaurant of course

6 Six singers/bands I like
Nirvana, GNR, Nickelback, Dido, Alanis, Chicago

7 Seven Things I don’t like -
Loads of people, heat, bad smells, weakness, politics in life, orange color, airplanes taking off

8 Eight things I love
Books, Dancing, spending time with kids, shopping, traveling, just lazing around, random conversations with friends, eating

9 Nine Things I need currently
Bubble bath, hour long massage, new tv, new pillow, someone to finish my work, my best friends, beaches, chocolates, ice-cream

10 Ten movies/tv shows i recommend
LOTR trilogy, Notebook, Amelie, Jeux d’enfants, Schindler’s List, Allo Allo (TV Series), Faulty Towers (TV Series), Nuovo cinema Paradiso, Casablanca, The Pianist

11 My best football team
Depends on who’s playing. I switch loyalties with each match.

and I tag – Eric, shoonya and whoever feels like it.

“All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners & change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak & hope. All the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there’s someone perfect who might be searching for us”.
~Narrator in The Wonder Years (1988)

What scares me is what if I have already met such a person and let him go?
Or what if it was the stranger who smiled at me while walking away?
Or what if he’s with someone else right now and is content to be there?
Or worse, Happy to be with someone else?
What if??

It’s thoughts like these which scare me at times, more than the creepy crawly insects.

Yesterday you told me about the blue blue sky and All that I can is just a yellow lemon tree..

Its funny how, while sitting in a conference room discussing various pros n cons of certain approach, you just get gripped with a feeling of loss or sadness…
Totally random thought

Well.. not so random, maybe it’s related to weird behavior I display these days. I just spent a whole day laughing hysterically over nothing and everything, then ending up in tears each time. My friends have already started thinking of me as that Crazy Lady.

I so need a vacation.. Anyone willing to sponsor me to a week in Barcelona???

Last night over drinks, wallowing in our sadness, we wondered about coming out to your parents. Esp if you are a girl. Think of it, for someone who won’t even mention existence of sex, how will you explain that you don’t like it straight?
Here’s how I see this conversation happening:

Mom: “I saw Mrs. X today. Her sister-in-law’s brother’s boss knows this family who have an eligible son. He’s IIT-IIM working in MNC. They think you are perfect for him.”
Girl: “Umm.. Mom.. I know it’s going to come as a shock but I’m.. I’m Gay.”
Mom: “Good for you. One should always be happy and gay. Now, about this boy..”
Girl: “Mom.. Gay as in Lesbian”
Mom: “Right.. Now I’m thinking we should invite them for tea”
Girl: “Mom.. I can’t meet this boy. I like girls”
Mom: “Don’t be silly.. How does that affect meeting boys? Everyone likes girls. Now Mrs X was telling me this family… “
Girl(Clearly annoyed by now): “Like girls as in Sex with them”
Mom(Finally Shocked): “Who told you about sex? It’s forbidden. Good Girls don’t talk in this way. I told your father we should’ve gotten you married long ago. Now, I’m inviting this family for tea this weekend. Better be ready”