All I have is a Dream..

I love Diwali festival season. Not because markets get too crowded. Sugar intake goes through the top. Too many unwanted calls.
But because, this is one season, people are generally happy. (Well most are). In office, day is concluded with random people wishing you ‘Happy Diwali’. In stores, banks, everywhere people greet you with a wish and smile. I love that.
I love it when everyone gets decked up. Seriously at times, its hard to see difference between lit-up balcony and a punjabi Aunti..
But hugs all around, people stuffing each other’s face with sweets, shiny sarees, lit-up houses and those big smiles.. How can anyone not like it?
And then comes Bhai Duj.. My uncles are going to visit us after a year (last bhai-duj to be specific). Mom is in Kitchen since morning preparing her brother’s favorite food, Fasting on the side. My brother has gone to visit my Aunt with my Dad. Being single sucks. You have no importance on day like this. Had I been married, I would’ve been fasting too and waiting for my brother to come visit me. (Ok, I wouldn’t be fasting but definitely would’ve been waiting)
Too bad, it’ll all get over today. No smiles tomorrow, no wishes and no hugs.

It’s 2 am in night and I can’t sleep. This is the time I get my best ideas. Ideas about new businesses. Ideas for blog. Ideas for books. Ideas about life. Just random ideas. Usually I think about them for a bit and then fall asleep. Only to repeat the process and of course, never ever take an action. But today is bit different. Today I was thinking about my age and how my birthday is approaching.
In another 2 months, I’ll be 30. Thirty. Such a big number. And while few months back, I was upset about getting old, I feel relatively better about this number now. Maybe because I’m already telling people that I’m 30. Talk about taking bull by horn
Anyways, so now that only 2 months are left, lets see how are we doing on life front:
1. Family – Mom had a surgery, so that was the tough part. But Dad was amazing. Unlike most Indian Dads, He cooked and took care of her and me (I was sick in between too). Hats off. Rest all is good. We are still arguing like every other family. And still sharing the laughs.
2. Friends – Still the best friends anyone can have. Though lot of friends moved away this year. I do get depressed at times, but then me being me, bounce backs happen.
3. French – Doing ok. Could be better, of course.
4. Dance – Ah, the joy of dancing again. In fact, found Milonga in Delhi. Few more weeks and I’ll be expert in Tango
5. Shopping – Was doing so much better. Then slipped last month and as usual, went overboard. Hopefully, will refrain til birthday now.
6. Travels – This was the most fun part of year. I could’ve added more places but due to family commitments, had to drop travel plans of this month n next.. Anywayz, Maybe next year.
7. Work – Been ok. My Boss left company (and can you believe it, I miss him at times ) New one’s not bad at all..
8. Photography – I got my DSLR and m so loving it. Buying Lens is pain as Pentax stuff is not available in India. Btw I also got certified as Photoshop CS4 ACE. Of course there are people who say it’s pretty easy (Yes, someone at work said that. No, that person is not one) For me, It was tough considering How less time I spend on PS. Plus, I’m horrible at such stuff. (Yes, there are things I suck at)
9. Other hobbies – I started again with embroidery. And it was so good to do it after such a long time. I did attend workshop on bakery. My cakes still suck. (Ah, the homely me). Reading, Movies, TV Shows are all going good as well. I wish I could do more. But then, I would need 48 hours in a day.
10. State of Mind – Zen Like (for most part). Of course, I still get annoyed, but much less than before. These days I just repeat this mantra – “Some people will always be mean, you can’t do anything about it. So just ignore and continue enjoying your life.”

Now the sad part is, too many people know this blog now. I can’t rant here properly anymore. (Ok, That’s a lie. Fortunately, I don’t say anything behind anyone’s back that I can’t say in front of them) But still there are limitations now. Like I can’t share stuff about my brother because he visits and wouldn’t appreciate my publicly disclosing his love life or whatever

PS: matrimonial updates – I’ve given up again. I seriously can’t do it. There are some other plans afoot (no, no marriage involved). So, Let’s just see what happens in next few months.

I feel guilty that I seem to communicate more with strangers on twitter than friends in real life. I love the fact that I can reply once and not be expected to follow it up. Makes up for perfect breaks. The fact, they really don’t know me helps. And of course, you do connect with most people on some level, whether it’s your complaint about system or rave about music.
I continue to meet friends and have awesome time with some. So, No, I’m not replacing my real life with online world. It’s just the online chats I’m wary of. Call me and we’ll talk all night.

Stress is more on physical level. My mom is in hospital for a surgery. It’s minor, but still a week in hospital can scare anyone. Surgery went well, Thank you for wishes. Now she’s recuperating there. Hopefully, by next Monday, she should be at home. I spent whole day yesterday in hospital and then night. At work now, will be heading there for another night in Evening. Not that, I don’t want to be there. It’s just exhausting. I don’t know how My Mom does it for all of us. In fact, the day she was admitted to hospital, she cooked my favorite curry in morning and some more so I wouldn’t have to cook a lot in her absence. I don’t think I can ever be so nice to anyone esp. when I’m sick. Moms are just great. Aren’t they? I hope next generation can say the same.

With all this stuff and then the classes, I really want to put my feet up and enjoy few drinks with friends. Sadly, the ones with whom words are not needed are missing. Rest have different expectations. And I’m already overloaded with all the expectations around.

Wish few friends were around. or I was in different city. (Let’s face it NCR is really not your kick-your-feet-and-chill city)

..again rocks.
I was, as mentioned earlier, learning French. I’m happy to say I’m now at intermediate level. Unfortunately, batch timings, my timings, office timings all clashed. So twice a week, I would be rushing out so that I can make it in time for class.
This means I get free weekend. Yayy.
Though the last one I got free, was spent in studying for yet another certificate. (Am I turning into a certificate junkie?). And tadaaa.. I’m now Photoshop CS4 ACE. Yipeee.
I wanted to sleep in this weekend. But Knowing me, it wasn’t possible. So I’m now planning to learn Baking and making chocolates. There goes my Sunday half. And the evening would be spent in Delhi (yet again) dancing to another instructor’s tune. Yup, I enrolled for Jive as well. Couldn’t find a Tango batch.
I know I know.. I keep on learning new things as if I won’t get another chance. But it’s so much fun. And you meet such nice people. No work politics. No dramas of any kind.
In a nutshell, I live to learn unlike the ones who learn to live.

Here’s to a life where you keep finding things to learn and knowledge is unlimited. Cheers!!!

Every day I get older, I worry about few new things, I stop worrying about few old things.
If I have to take measure of my life, There’s not much I regret. Of course I wonder about certain paths I didn’t take. But Regret, No. For each choice taught me something new. Each path introduced me to someone new. Some people I’m glad to meet, some not so much. Lessons are lessons, good or bad.
I’ve stayed within limits, when I thought I should. I’ve made my own, when I felt I needed to.
I’m, of course, not proud of everything I’ve done. (OK, there’s lot I shouldn’t have done) But never mind, at those times, it was always a good idea.
So, here’s to a life without regrets and hoping rest of the days would be same.

PS: no, It’s not my birthday, It’s the year of turning philosophical. So expect such random posts every few days.

To jump or not.
To give in or not.
To be sensible or reckless.

Choice is tough. While one is tempting, other will break your heart eventually. So which one do you choose?

I was.. Still am..

Past few weeks have been a blur.
Been busy with work. Usual routine of complains and boredom.
Few more weddings. Hectic but fun.
Been sick. Better now.
Older by another year. yeah, bit depressed about that.
Holidays started. And I’ve no plans this time. Weird, huh?

There’s a disconnect with people I hang out with. There’s a closeness with family. There’s disdain for few people at work.

I feel like going for a road trip. Unfortunately funds and company are depriving me of that.
I feel like I’m ready to settle down and start my family. Unfortunately I’m yet to find the one I want to do so with.

I miss my best friend. H, you are the best person I know. Only one who would listen to my crazy rants for whole day, yet smile and never look bored.

Here’s a wishing next year would be better.